When I think about blogging, most of the time it stresses me out. I love to write but most of the time I feel like I have nothing to say. I feel like I need to have this huge big lesson to share before I can write anything down - but truth be told, the big huge lessons don't come every day. Sometimes I wish they did, and sometimes I wish I didn't have to learn at all. But this isn't about the destination and getting to the point where I know everything there is to know, and understand everything there is to understand. That won't ever happen. It's about the every day journey. The 'ploddings' of life, as my Dad would most likely put it.
But funnily enough, there is a lesson to be told...kind of. It mirrors exactly what I'm saying, or at least what I'm trying to say. I think that so often I feel as if I have to have everything sorted before I can do anything. I have to have my thoughts jotted about before I can put pen to paper, I need to put you in the diary before we can meet up and the craziest thing of all, I need to have my life figured out before I come to God. Now I realise that my last post was along these lines too...but the crazy thing, is that I still haven't got it right. And I probably never will.
But y'know what? I am a messy, broken, sinful person who isn't ever going to get it right on her own. I was at a conference last week and the speaker made a really good point. God promised Abraham and Sarah a baby, and they waited and when they lost patience they tried to receive God's promise by their own efforts. They used Hagar, the slave girl, to 'fulfill' his promise and by doing so, all they did was produce a slave. But when God did fulfill His promise, which He always does, they produce a son. When we try to do things by our own efforts, we only make ourselves slaves, but when we trust God we are made sons.
I don't have to have everything sorted before I come before God. In fact, if I ever think that I have everything sorted then somebody please knock me down a peg. He wants us to come to Him broken and needy. On our knees. Every day. We need him every day, in the constant ploddings of life.
And as for putting pen to paper, I do apologise but I imagine that my blogs are going to become a little less 'sorted' and a little more frequent! Though sometimes I struggle with topics to write about now that I don't have my wonderful children as inspiration! So if anyone has any ideas, then please do me a favour and let me know! I'll even dedicate the post to you! Ain't that wonderful...