Somehow help me see with heaven's eyes.

'When He had said this, He shouted with a loud voice, Lazarus, come out! And out walked the man who had been dead, his hands and feet wrapped in burial clothes, and with a napkin bound around his face. Jesus said to them, Take off the grave clothes and let him go.' - John 11:43-44

Take off the grave clothes.

This passage was talked about a couple of nights ago at our student gathering at church, and the message that stood out was 'Take off the grave clothes and let him go.'
So often we stop at the cross. Jesus came for us - to pay for our sins so that we may have relationship with Him and live life to the full. I don't know about you, but I'm pretty sure that if I were Lazarus, I would want to get those grave clothes off me asap. They must have been so gross! Yet here I am, still walking around with my (metaphorical) grave clothes on! The grave clothes that bind me down and stop me from keeping my eyes fixed on Christ. It's funny that to have life to the full here, is to remember that we were not made for here, and to see with heavenly eyes. To have our gazes tilted upwards. (It sounds so poetic right? Most of the time, I feel like one of those dogs with the bobbing heads - as soon as my eyes are looking at Christ, there's something else that has me looking down again. But, the encouraging thing is that those heads keep bobbing and my eyes won't be fixated on the ground for too long!)
Something that was said the other night that resonated with me, was that the voices that lie to us never go away. It's not exactly an uplifting thought, but it does leave us with a choice. In my mind I guess I always thought that at some point, the voice telling me that I'm not good enough, or that I need to try harder or that I should just give up (etc...the list is as long for me as it is for you) would stop! That it's something we grow out of or that once I achieved x,y and z they would go away. They don't. To have a heavenly mind-set and to take off those grave clothes is a choice. Yes God helps us and tells us what those grave clothes are and He will never leave us or make us do it alone, but it is our choice to look upwards and to listen to His voice over any others.
I don't think I will ever not be the bobbing dog, and I so often mess up and look inwards instead of upwards. But how encouraging that we do not do this alone, and that the victory has already been won and we see with heaven's eyes because of His love.

The last night of being 18...

Birthday blogs are oh so much fun - in fact birthdays are just fun and I don't really understand people that don't like to celebrate them. The excuse is always 'oh I don't like to make a big deal of myself...' which always makes those of us who enjoy birthdays feel bad, but seriously...birthdays are fun and should be celebrated!
But I also love birthdays because it's a chance to just look back on the year and see how far you've come, and what you have to be thankful for, and what you want the next year to look like!
This year has been a funny one for me - leaving Thailand, 'readjusting' to life in Scotland and moving to university. It's been a year of transition, which is exciting in some ways - but it can also be tough. No matter how many books, articles or blogs you read about change - it's always hard. My dearest mother, who tends to come up in these blogs a lot, sent me a quote once in an email and it has always stuck with me. 
'The steps of a believer are steeped in constant change. Fingers are painfully peeled away from the security of sameness one at a time. Again and again. Great wisdom lies in freeing fellow sojourners cherished though they are. With hands freshly loosed we find liberty to embrace the One who will never change, and courage to release to Him those who ever will.' 
Change and letting go are difficult. So often I have been tempted to pretend like they're not, because truthfully - like most of us - I have gone through a lot of changes in my life and it seems like it should get easier as time goes on. It doesn't, but I'm learning to embrace the change and I know that God has worked so incredibly in my life and through the changes that He has brought about. This quote (I think) is mostly talking about people - but I think the same can be said for places and times in our lives. This year has seen many changes, and with that I was so terrified that I would change. Honestly - God changed me when I was in Thailand and I kind of thought that was it. That He had brought me to a place that I needed to be - and I needed to stay there. It has taken me pretty much all year to realise that in no way was He done. He has promised to continue the good work that He started in me, and He will do that in all aspects of my life and regardless of where I am. After times of growth it so easy to try and cling on to where we are, instead of letting go and trusting that God will continue to carry us and He will shape us to be more like Christ. Trying so hard to stay where we are is like stunting our growth. 
It has been an interesting year,full of goodbyes and new beginnings, and looking back I don't really know where the time has gone. But I have been so blessed and God has been so good and is continuing to teach me more about Him and His great love. 
So, here's to being 18...and bring on the last teenage year! (sob sob...next year's blog might not be so upbeat, 20 is officially old!) ;)

The picture closest to my birthday last year (apparently I didn't actually take any on the day!) A very sweet girl who is still incredibly close to my heart!