I've moved!

Yet again - I have moved!

Please find all my stuff at http://lcowpland.wordpress.com from now on.

Thank you!

x

David Eunson.

I've wanted to write about my Papa for a while now, but have never felt I could write enough. There is nothing I can write that will fully describe the wonderful man that was David Eunson. A friend was talking to me recently and said that it is not the details of a person that bring us to know someone, but the person themselves that we grow to know and love. And so, I won't give you a detailed description of what he was like, but hope that you might catch a glimpse of who he was through what I am saying. But most importantly, I pray that you catch a glimpse of the God he lived for, because at the end of the day, that's all that really matters and all he would have wanted. 

When my Papa died, naturally it was heartbreaking. But, I had an inexplicable peace that I can't quite find the words to describe. The day I found out was the same day as the first snow of the year, and so I decided to take a walk down to the beach. As I was walking along the shore I wasn't really thinking of very much, when I suddenly got an image of my Papa dancing in heaven. Now, for those of you who don't know him - he was not a dancer. As a young girl, I famously asked my Granny who that 'strange little man' was that she danced with all the time, because it was not my Papa! He was many things, but a dancer he was not. But on that snowy day, I pictured him dancing with joy. He was home. His old, failing body returning to his Maker as a child. Forgetting the things of this world, and gazing at his Father. My whole being was filled with the peace of knowing that he had made it. He had run the race and was embraced at the finish line. All else fades. 

It doesn't mean that it wasn't hard. Nor that I don't miss him. I loved him - he was an incredible man. About as eccentric as they come and unbelievably stubborn, but an incredible man. He wasn't perfect but still made it. It's the beauty of the gospel - God's grace. My Papa knew and loved Jesus, and he knew that he was going to be with him. He was passionate about a great many other things, and loved my Granny and his family more than I think I'll ever know, but nothing compared with knowing Christ. 

For most of my life, my Papa was not the most emotional of men. In fact, I don't think I ever saw him cry. But towards the end of his life, he softened and let us all in that little bit further. I was touched at his heart. I always knew that he had a good one, but in those last few times I saw him, I saw a humble man. A man who looked back on his years and recognized the grace of God in his life and in the life of those surrounding him. I did not see a man who boasted in his achievements, or reveled in regret - but a man who knew what his purpose was. A saw a man who was still allowing God to change his heart right until the very end.

David Eunson will probably not be remembered on this earth for hundreds of years, though he was a great man. But he will be with his Maker for eternity. He will be with the One in whose presence there is fullness of joy. I praise God for my Papa, but praise Him all the more for His grace. 

Take a moment.

Slow down. Breathe in. Look up.

I haven't written in a good wee while. Partly because of lack of inspiration, but also because life has recently become a bit of a check list.
To do lists and diaries have become two of my favourite things in getting me through life - so useful and efficient! It means you get everything you want done and manage to fit everyone you want to see into that - dream! Even if it means spending the whole day going from one coffee date to the next. And while it's efficient, and there's no way I am going to stop making to do lists or planning my days, it slowly but surely tends to drain you of all spontaneity and enjoyment (not that I don't enjoy spending my days drinking coffee...but I hope you get the point). Basically, I've forgotten to stop. I've become so busy doing life that I don't have the time or freedom to just go for a walk, or read a book, or write!
So this post isn't anything deep or meaningful - it's not some crazy insightful lesson I've learnt, or something incredibly personal, I'm just writing for the joy of writing, and because today is one of those days where I just get to stop.
I get to breathe (though not very well considering the end of term cold has decided to make an appearance), and I get to look up. I get to be content in knowing that my joy does not have to come from anything else other than God's goodness. With everything going on around me, it's so freeing to be able to stop and remember His love, and smile about it. It's peaceful. In a moment where the world is rushing by, I can stand assured. I can stop, breathe in and look up.

My flatmates wanted a mention in this post, so I thought I would share potentially the worst attempt at an Abbey Road photo ever taken. We couldn't even request another one because the American tourists were so proud of their attempt.

P.s They are really wonderful people and do constantly remind me to enjoy life. 

Those new mercies.

'It is because of the Lord's mercy and loving-kindness that we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is Your faithfulness.'

I've been thinking about new mercies a lot recently. Mostly in sleepy thoughts each night after a pang of guilt sets in for the failings of the day. 'Tomorrow will be better. I will accomplish all that I didn't today. And thanks Jesus that your mercies are new every morning. Help me to be better tomorrow.' That's pretty much all I manage before rolling over and conking out. 

Then the next morning arrives, and more often that not I've hit snooze a few too many times and rush out the door in a mad panic. Either that or I don't get out of bed until just before midday, because sleeping till noon would be lazy. The day goes on and I climb into bed realising that I have made no progress on the day before. I didn't type up the lecture notes I was supposed to, nor do the recommended reading. One day I will read of the further readings options and be so ahead of the game! I didn't go for that run...or complete day 2 of "30 day shred" that I started in January. That healthy eating plan stopped as breakfast started, and replaying conversations from the day over in my head brings with it the realisation that I probably didn't say the right thing, and that "witty", sarcastic comment wasn't actually very funny, and didn't accomplish anything other than putting someone down. Oh, and of course...that Bible in a year plan isn't going so well and the only time I really prayed was when I was convinced I was going to get mugged on the way home. But tomorrow I will be better. Help me to be better Jesus. 

It is crazy, but so true, that I can go a whole day "living for Christ" on my own. You see, if I'm honest with you, and myself, most of the time I live for me. I can say and do all the right things and people won't necessarily notice, but eventually it catches up with you. Whatever comes out of the mouth comes from the heart. Do my words reflect Christ, or myself?

More than this truth though, the truth that most days I pick sin over righteousness, I pick the easy path, I pick me is His truth. His promise that He will never leave me, and that He will continue the good work He started in me. His promise that His grace is enough. That is the truth I choose to cling to, despite my efforts and my failings.
You see, what I am learning is that it all starts with Christ. Not in Christ helping me with my failed attempts, but allowing Him to change my heart. Doing all that I do because of the love He has for me. I am completely covered by His grace. 

I want to love Him, I want to seek Him with all my heart. But let's face it, it is hard. Impossible if we do it on our own. But His mercies are new every morning (or even after noon for those of us whose beds become clouds of comfort in the morning). 

Missing the Thai sunrises.