I've been thinking about new mercies a lot recently. Mostly in sleepy thoughts each night after a pang of guilt sets in for the failings of the day. 'Tomorrow will be better. I will accomplish all that I didn't today. And thanks Jesus that your mercies are new every morning. Help me to be better tomorrow.' That's pretty much all I manage before rolling over and conking out.
Then the next morning arrives, and more often that not I've hit snooze a few too many times and rush out the door in a mad panic. Either that or I don't get out of bed until just before midday, because sleeping till noon would be lazy. The day goes on and I climb into bed realising that I have made no progress on the day before. I didn't type up the lecture notes I was supposed to, nor do the recommended reading. One day I will read of the further readings options and be so ahead of the game! I didn't go for that run...or complete day 2 of "30 day shred" that I started in January. That healthy eating plan stopped as breakfast started, and replaying conversations from the day over in my head brings with it the realisation that I probably didn't say the right thing, and that "witty", sarcastic comment wasn't actually very funny, and didn't accomplish anything other than putting someone down. Oh, and of course...that Bible in a year plan isn't going so well and the only time I really prayed was when I was convinced I was going to get mugged on the way home. But tomorrow I will be better. Help me to be better Jesus.
It is crazy, but so true, that I can go a whole day "living for Christ" on my own. You see, if I'm honest with you, and myself, most of the time I live for me. I can say and do all the right things and people won't necessarily notice, but eventually it catches up with you. Whatever comes out of the mouth comes from the heart. Do my words reflect Christ, or myself?
More than this truth though, the truth that most days I pick sin over righteousness, I pick the easy path, I pick me is His truth. His promise that He will never leave me, and that He will continue the good work He started in me. His promise that His grace is enough. That is the truth I choose to cling to, despite my efforts and my failings.
You see, what I am learning is that it all starts with Christ. Not in Christ helping me with my failed attempts, but allowing Him to change my heart. Doing all that I do because of the love He has for me. I am completely covered by His grace.
I want to love Him, I want to seek Him with all my heart. But let's face it, it is hard. Impossible if we do it on our own. But His mercies are new every morning (or even after noon for those of us whose beds become clouds of comfort in the morning).
Missing the Thai sunrises.
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